The Ⓐⓤⓣⓞⓝⓞⓜⓞⓤⓢ Ⓐⓖⓡⓐⓡⓘⓐⓝ Ⓒⓞⓜⓜⓤⓝⓔⓢ of Baldwin Park is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Ⓤⓝⓘⓞⓝ Ⓛⓔⓐⓓⓔⓡ Ⓑⓔⓝ Ⓖ Ⓦⓞⓝⓖ with an even hand, and notable for its state-planned economy, public floggings, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 7.809 billion Ⓑⓐⓛⓓⓦⓘⓝ Ⓟⓐⓡⓚⓔⓡⓢ have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ⓑⓐⓛⓓⓦⓘⓝ Ⓟⓐⓡⓚ. The average income tax rate is 96.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Ⓑⓐⓛⓓⓦⓘⓝ Ⓟⓐⓡⓚⓘⓐⓝ economy, worth a remarkable 2,522 trillion Ⓛⓐⓑⓞⓡ Ⓝⓞⓣⓔs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 322,980 Ⓛⓐⓑⓞⓡ Ⓝⓞⓣⓔs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The immigration office has an express line for people bringing cash in briefcases, the government frequently panders to parents with boutique tax credits, national chefs believe that you can eat anything so long as you deep fry it first, and Ⓤⓝⓘⓞⓝ Ⓛⓔⓐⓓⓔⓡ Ⓑⓔⓝ Ⓖ Ⓦⓞⓝⓖ's media campaigns take a hiatus around exam week. Crime is totally unknown. Baldwin Park's national animal is the Ⓑⓛⓐⓒⓚ Ⓒⓗⓘⓒⓚⓔⓝ, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Ⓑⓤⓓⓓⓗⓘⓢⓜ.

Baldwin Park is ranked 10,303^rd in the world and 10^th in Hell for Lowest Crime Rates, with 100.67 law-abiding acts per hour.